It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
