Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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