You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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