dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
