i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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