I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
