remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
