I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
