grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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