Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
