I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
