she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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