rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
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She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize