): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
