you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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