do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
