Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
