Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
