shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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