My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Randomize
