do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
