I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
