No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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