He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize