Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
