I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
