i may or may not be watching the land before time
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
