I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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