my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Quick, to the slutcave!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
