she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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