why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize