Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
