You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
