If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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