And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
