I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
