At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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