Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
