Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
