My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
