She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
