He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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