I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
