my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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