i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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