i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
