suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Randomize