I think I am morally bankrupt
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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