I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
