so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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