Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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