Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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