I wish they made helmets for livers.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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