i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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