It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Of course I have a pirate flag
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
the raccoons are back...
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