I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
