You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
