Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize