i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
