So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
