i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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